my white picket life*

Coming Back...

... one step at a time.

I don't want to ramble on about how busy or difficult life can be, or how easy it's been to let writing (in every form) slip away. Instead of accomplishing anything, I've just been starting posts, journal entries, and scribbling down half-formed project ideas- and setting them aside. Although unrelated, I've also discovered the "save link" feature on my Facebook which has been a dream! Now I don't have to "share only to me" everything I want to read later. (does anyone else use Facebook like this?) What I've found myself saving are articles on writing, relationships, mental health issues, the NY Times Opinion section, and inspiration/motivation. The majority of the saved links I seem to end up reading, though, have to do with writing and the importance of artistic creativity. Creative and artistic are words I only use to describe myself when, in the back of my mind, I consider my barely self-recognized and somewhat intentionally hidden tendencies. And while it's been a snail's pace journey,  I've been meandering back to this public, if practically unknown space for a while now. 

I was lucky to recently stumble upon the BlogHer Writing Lab FB group and this new-to-me community is full of thoughtful and interesting bloggers. With extremely limited and continually diminishing free time, I've been "saving" their shared posts to read when I get a minute (you know what I mean? like while using the public restroom, waiting for the traffic light to turn green, etc...), but one post just wouldn't wait. 

From RealGirlRant.com, I'm inspired by Becky's personal challenge to get back to her blog. I'm always up for a challenge-  especially when someone else does the hard work of thinking it through and laying it out. As one of my more recent posts alluded, it's been heavy around here for a long time now, but I don't want to jump back to blogging in that same vein so I'm going to join Becky and follow her list of topics for my next 30 posts. I'll be shocked if I manage 5x/week, like she plans to, but I'll be relatively frequent and consistent until I finish the list. (At which point I expect to be back in the groove around here.) :)

Thanks for reading my own version of a "real girl rant" that's last minute, late-night, almost completely unedited, and has me rarin' to go. 

 

p.s. If you want to do this too, here's the list of prompts that Real Girl Rant is following. (go right to her post to check it out yourself!)

Day 1 – Your Blog Name 

Day 2 – 20 Facts About You 

Day 3 – Your Favorite Quote 

Day 4 – Your Dream Job 

Day 5 – Your Proudest Moment 

Day 6 – What are you Afraid of? 

Day 7 – Your 5 Favorite Songs 

Day 8 – 5 Current Goals 

Day 9 – What’s in your bag?

Day 10 – Best trip of your life 

Day 11 – 10 Favorite Foods 

Day 12 – Favorite Childhood Books 

Day 13 – What’s inside your fridge? 

Day 14 – 3 Healthy Habits 

Day 15 – Where will you be in 5 years? 

Day 16 – Favorite Subject in school 

Day 17 – Favorite Blogs 

Day 18 – Photograph of self 

Day 19 – Favorite Movies 

Day 20 – What makes you happy? 

Day 21 – What makes you sad? 

Day 22 – Worst habits 

Day 23 – If you won the lottery…

Day 24 – Traits of your best friends 

Day 25 – Biggest regret 

Day 26 – Hidden Talent 

Day 27 – What’s in your closet? 

Day 28 – Most embarrassing moment 

Day 29 – A confession 

Day 30 – Hopes for your Blog 

All We Have Is Now

 

 

It's been hard around here. In my head... In my marriage... In my schoolwork... In my life... 

This morning I stumbled upon an article I had saved but not yet read. Written by a woman who has chosen an interesting way to live, it's about the art and practice of letting go and names 18 things we can do find peace.  There were two parts of this list that struck me deep. The first gives me pause and plenty to consider:

"Letting go isn’t just cliche spiritual advice. Letting go isn’t not caring. Letting go isn’t passive. Letting go isn’t merely saying, “It’s all good” or “whatever.” Letting go isn’t lazy. Letting go isn’t giving up. Letting go isn’t the easy way out. Letting go isn’t always fun. Letting go is the most courageous thing you can do."

(Courage is something I truly value, but I don't have the reserves to evaluate that last line right now. I'm leaving it in, not because I agree with it, but in case it strikes a chord for one of you.)

The second thing was heavy enough to move me to write for the first time in months. It speaks for letting go of procrastination, which is something I often struggle with. The author says this:

"Procrastination is based in fear: of failure, of success, of sharing our stories, of what other people will think. Let go of these fears and take action. Just do it. All we have is now."

While writing, and this blog, are close to my heart, they've fallen to the bottom of a pile of things that I want in my life but haven't maintained the way I prefer. This, however, is not why the procrastination quote moved me. As indicated by my tagline (*it's not always rainbows and butterflies) an important part of My White Picket Life is sharing what's not good and not perfect about me, about my life, even though there's no room for complaints around here.

As a confession, I've been making- and also not making- choices that have been hurting myself and (more importantly) the people I love. The hurt: I don't know how to avoid it. For any of us. But I can see that the putting off of conversations, of feelings, and of decisions has unintentionally made that hurt worse. The shitty thing is that understanding it doesn't make confronting those things any easier. It has, however, encouraged me to commit to putting my fears just far enough aside that the hard things can be addressed without causing the additional pain of silence and wondering and delay.

As gut-wrenching as reality can be, I don't want to waste any more time by procrastinating due to fear. So, I'll try. To choose peace through the struggle. To speak truth through the pain. To face difficulties with compassion. Because all we have is now.

 

Join me on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest. 

I'd love to see you there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where In The World Would You Go?

 

 

 

The word relocation elicits nearly the same excitement in me as the word jackpot, and I've heard it about as often. I'm not sure if I was actually born with wanderlust, but that feeling of wanting- no, needing- to see and explore most everywhere has rooted itself deep.

I've lived in the same state nearly all my life and although I've resigned made peace with the idea of possibly living here forever, I've longed for change for quite a while. With that in mind, here are six places I'd move in a heartbeat if I could just find that elusive magic wand. 

 

1- North Carolina 

When my babies were little and life seemed open to possibilities, I would spend hours imagining where our family might end up.  I think the website FindYourSpot.com was new then and many areas in the southeast appeared on my list. After reading the information on ALL of the locations, I decided NC was the place for me, and I've wanted to live there ever since.  

 

2. Paris, France 

Two summers ago we were fortunate enough to realize a dream and take our children to France. Paris had always been on my list of places I wanted to visit, but it was never at the top. Maybe not even in the top 5. After spending some time there, however, I fell deeply in love with that city. I think it would take an entire lifetime to begin to know it intimately and I would definitely be up for the challenge.

 

3- Hawaii 

Growing up, I always heard the rich kids talk about going to Hawaii for vacations. Our family "vacations" were camping, and while I love doing that now, when you're old enough as a kid to realize other kids go cooler places, going camping again just seemed lame. These days, one of my brothers lives in Hawaii. The lucky bastard and his lovely wife escaped the cold and headed to paradise several years ago. Since then I've visited twice and while a visit isn't the same as a move, I think it's safe to say I could live with that peaceful island rhythm forever.

 

4. Prince Edward Island

Specifically, Green Gables. With Anne. I want that old-fashioned, farm community life and don't forget the raspberry cordial!  My mom grew up in a rural area and I absolutely loved visiting my grandparents, and my cousins who lived on an actual farm. Those summer days were heaven to me. I mean, horseback rides for picnics? I'm sure they thought that stuff was blasé but they humored me and I was grateful. But Green Gables would be even better because it's not the rural western desert- it's lush and green and has the Lake of Shining Waters, of course.

 

5- Washington, D.C./Boston/Chicago

You name it. Except, perhaps, for New York, I want to live in the thick of a thriving big city that has plenty of people to meet and plenty of culture to experience. Yes, I know, there are people to meet and things to do wherever you are but large cities are something different entirely. The diversity, in every sense of the word, seems to give off an energy that's almost palpable. And hearing a dozen languages being spoken while strolling along is so different from what I know that I'm drawn to that unfamiliarity. 

 

So tell me, where would your magic wand take you?

 

Today I'm linking up with Mama Kat. I love her prompts and her community, so I'm always happy when I can join in. Welcome, and thanks for reading!  If you like what you see, find me on Facebook, Pinterest, or I'll come straight to your inbox. No spam; pinky promise!